In the Beginning Blog Fest: Bliss of Death

Author: Anastasia V. Pergakis // Category: ,

Okay, first thing I'd like to say, is that I am now following exactly 100 blogs. It's crazy right? I know. The worst part is, I actually read pretty much every new post that these wonderful writer's put up. Do I always comment on them? No, but I do read them all! (I'm a fast reader, so it doesn't take me too much time and it's not like ALL 100 blogs post every day....)

Now on the real point of this post. In the Beginning Blogfest! Guess what? This post will be a short one! So yes, I hope you enjoy this (and actually read the entire thing!)

She only had hours to live. In the cold, dank jail cell, she paced, waiting for the inevitable. The waiting bothered her the most. She wrung her hands to keep them from tembling.

Oddly enough, she felt a shred of joy. It would all be over soon. All the suffering she had to endure the last sixty years of her life would be over. She could not wait.

As time ticked by, her pacing picked up speed. In truth, she did not really want to die. Being stoned to death would be a slow and agonizing end. Still, the end result was what she looked forward to. No more pain. No more loneliness. Just the sweet bliss of death.

"It's time." The guard opened the cell door.

"I am ready."

See? I told you it was a short one! Check out the other entries by going over to Kelly's blog and seeing the list there!

And since I am me and can't have an excerpt so short, I'll post the ending of the chapter too, (that's when it switches back to her POV) just for fun! *giggle*

The cart stopped in the middle of the market place and the guards kicked Rosyani onto the cobbled ground of the square. The castle stood tall in the background, the royal banners waving in the breeze. An eerie silence hung over the place, the only sound heard was the squeaky cart and flapping flags. Even infants hushed their crying.

It seemed the entire town showed up for the event. Faeries stood shoulder to shoulder in the square, shoving each other to get a closer look. Faes sat on shoulders of their parents while older faes stood by holding tight to a hand. Rosyani tried to read them, their stone cold faces told her they would show no mercy.

“Faeries of the kingdom of Enthril, the faery you see before you is an enemy of our great nation. She trespassed into our land. The King has sentenced her to death by stoning. May the sentencing commence immediately,” the herald chanted to the crowd.

The crowd cheered as the guards stepped out of the way. Rosyani stood still with her eyes closed as the crowd circled around her. The first stone came from a small fae. It hit Rosyani in the leg. She flinched but did not cry out. A hush fell over the crowd before a volley of stones came towards Rosyani. In just a few minutes, Rosyani’s legs and arms dripped with blood. Tears streamed down her face but she refused to make a sound. It would only fuel the blood lust of the crowd.

She prayed it would be over soon. The pain was intense. She wanted the blackness of death to take over, to make the pain stop, so we would not have to hide her pain any longer. She wondered if Eterven really sat among the clouds. Would she be wanted there? Would the angels judge her too? A sudden wave of panic took over as she thought that even in Eterven she would not be accepted. Death no longer appeared to be a comfort.

Finally, unable to stand, she fell to her knees. Rosyani was covered in bruises, cuts, and blood. Both eyes were swollen shut and her body trembled from the pain. A stone hit her in the stomach and she fell face first into the dirt. She tried to get back up to her knees but her arms gave out when another stone landed on her back.

Rosyani lay still and waited for the pain to stop, waited for the blackness to take over. She suddenly felt weightless as if someone had picked her up. She heard muffled cries of disappointment from the crowd then a male voice said that she was dead.

Thank the Gods,” she thought. “I am dead and he is an angel come to take me away. It is over.” Rosyani blacked out as her angel took flight and took her away.

It's still a pretty short post anyway! I hope you guys enjoyed it! I have to say this first chapter is my favorite one! There is another 4,000 words to it not posted here but...I won't make you read the whole thing (yet!)

19 Responses to "In the Beginning Blog Fest: Bliss of Death"

Dawn Embers Says :
April 2, 2010 at 4:34 AM

Wow. You follow more blogs than me at the moment, though a few of mine are no longer running (like ashy's old blog) that I haven't deleted from the list yet. So, I have even less than the almost 70 it shows at the moment.

Nice first page. Good to see something short from you too. lol ;-) Just kidding. It's a good read and I enjoyed it and even the extra bit posted afterwards.

I like the post in general. I am curious about one element. Are you going for a more formal tone? I ask that because I associate the lack of "contractions" to be more formal. Such as "could not wait". I like it in her dialogue bit but surprised to not see so few contractions in the short piece. Nothing wrong with it, as I do that myself in BP because I want the more formal tone.

One minor note. I have a tiny issue with the first sentence. The hours seems too vague and I'm curious as to the quantity. It doesn't seem much since there aren't many paragraphs till the guard comes but I'd like to see an extra detail added to that line.

Other than that. Great post. I love fairies so the idea of fairies in books always catches my attention.

Tina Says :
April 2, 2010 at 5:02 AM

Very interesting. I look forward to seeing more. I wonder about her age. In her world is she still young?

The Clean White Page

Charity Bradford Says :
April 2, 2010 at 9:10 AM

LOL, I think I spend more time reading the blogs I follow in google reader than I do writing. I may need to work on that.

I really liked this. At first I wasn't in the right time period (probably because I read so many blogs I mix up people and their genres) but found it quickly. That won't be a problem with a book cover to help out.

I read your alternate endings and it was nice to get the beginning. I would keep reading.

Portia Says :
April 2, 2010 at 11:08 AM

Oh, wow, it was so interesting to read what's coming next as well! I thought for sure she was going to be rescued (but perhaps she will be after all, with the dark angel?) I enjoyed your post. Well done!

Harley D. Palmer Says :
April 2, 2010 at 12:25 PM

Dawn - Yea I was surprised I was able to make it so short too! Well the formal tone comes from my Mom. I sent her a manuscript long time ago for editing and she said that I shouldn't use contractions at all unless in dialogue so it stuck with me. She's a teacher so I thought she was right! I write all my novels that way.

Tina - Yes, if you ever read the entire novel you'd find out that Rosyani is about 75 years old and is still young in her world. Faeries can live for thousands of years so...she's really young. Basically the rule of thumb in this world is they age like humans until they reach age 25 then they stop aging physically.

Charity - Yes I need to get a book cover made, just haven't had the money to get one made for me and I can't make one myself that I like. I'm so glad to know that you would keep reading!

Portia - Thanks for stopping by! You can read what happens after this by reading yesterday's post for the Alternative Version Blogfest.

elizabeth mueller Says :
April 2, 2010 at 1:17 PM

WHoa! Blow me away, Harley! What a wonderful story you've got going here. I really appreciate you ending your chapter,really. I wanted to know what was going to happen--you actually had me in tears!

SO new, to have faeries barbaric like in certain parts of the world and in the olden days too--cool twist. I love it!!!

I want to get to know you better, maybe eventually meet at a conference or something!!!

Natalie Murphy Says :
April 2, 2010 at 2:07 PM

Ooo good beginning! I'm intrigued.

Iapetus999 Says :
April 2, 2010 at 3:35 PM

Did I make the 100??
I think I follow something close to 300...but there's no way I can read them all. :(

Anyways, I'm just commenting on the first page excerpt (trying to get through a lot of these :)
First line hooked me right away.
First para good, but second seemed to be mostly telling. I wanted to be closer to the thoughts and feelings of the character. More depression/determination or something.
Other than that, I definitely wanted to read more. Nice job!

sarahjayne smythe Says :
April 2, 2010 at 5:16 PM

Great job with the opening. It really caught my attention and pulled me right in. :)

roxy Says :
April 2, 2010 at 7:44 PM

I am unsettled by this piece, and that's a good sign. I found the whole stoning thing harrowing. It caught my attention, and I felt great sympathy for your character. Excellent Beginning!

Harley D. Palmer Says :
April 2, 2010 at 8:20 PM

Yes Andrew, you were one of the 100! That second paragraph bugs me too but I have rewritten at least 20 times and each time it still isn't right! I'll figure it out one of these days!

Harley D. Palmer Says :
April 2, 2010 at 8:21 PM

SarahJayne and Roxy - thanks for stopping by! I hope to see you guys around here again! I'm going to go read your guys' pieces now too! I hopefully have read all the entries!

Tara Says :
April 2, 2010 at 9:34 PM

Oh, I felt so horrible for her! Because of your horrific description of the stoning! It was horrible, er, I mean great...or, well you know what I mean.

I'd keep reading this one for sure!

Kelly Lyman Says :
April 2, 2010 at 9:54 PM

Oh, I love it! You had me hooked from the very beginning: She only had hours to live. I wanted to know why! Great job. Thanks for participating!

Harley D. Palmer Says :
April 2, 2010 at 10:06 PM

Tara - how about awesomely horrible? or horribly awesome? LOL I knew what you meant! Thanks!

Kelly - thanks for stopping by! I'm glad you were so hooked! As I said before, I've rewritten that beginning like 20 times so I'm glad it's working pretty well now!

Anonymous Says :
April 6, 2010 at 1:06 PM

Hooked from the start and left wanting more. Great job!

Don't forget to sign up for Last Line Blogfest! (details on my site.)

Just Another Sarah Says :
April 7, 2010 at 9:28 PM

I did like the first sentence--very intense. Oh, and I looked at the first comment and your response--feel free to use those contractions! Otherwise the writing is more formal. In more scholarly writing, no contractions is more the norm--but in creative writing, you can do whatever, really. As long as there's a purpose.

Harley D. Palmer Says :
April 7, 2010 at 9:38 PM

Thanks Sarah! Yea, I figuring that out but I just can't seem to break the habit! LOL I might one of these days.

Just Another Sarah Says :
April 8, 2010 at 12:13 AM

Oh, I totally know what you mean. I have a few habits that are hard to break, too--like not watching my use of adverbs as closely as I should!

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