Primal Scream Blogfest: Commanding Disgust

Author: Anastasia V. Pergakis // Category: ,


Another blogfest! Woot! I just love these things! This is the Primal Scream Blogfest hosted by the wonderful Raquel Byrnes. Make sure you read the other entries!

Many of you remember reading my entry for the Last Line Blogfest! I decided to be nice and post the "inciting incident" - well one of them - and give you all another look at who Palto and Kie are. So, here we go! Again, it's the first rough draft so...

Instead of going to bed as ordered, Kie gathered her things and made her way to the bath house. The large bath house was split into two areas, one for females and one for males. The place was always welcoming to Kie. The stone floors were somehow always warm and Kie loved to walk on them with bare feet. Steam and sweet incense filled the air, making for a very calm atmosphere.

Kie inhaled deeply. The lavendar and vanilla in the air made her mind clear and her soul calm.

Kie undressed and slowly stepped into the steaming water of the. She sighed in relief as the warm water enveloped her and loosened the stress in her muscles. Lilies floated on the surface of the water and they flaoted near her to tickle her skin.

"Kierianna Shaphros."

Kie looked over her shoulder to see Palto looking down at her with hungry eyes.

"Commander, how may I help you?"

"Oh there are so many ways." He eyed her hungrily and licked his lips.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Ya know Kie, there are so many reasons why we should be together." Palto laid down on his stomach so that his lips were mere inches from her ear. "I am a very powerful elf."

"You are the Mission Commander."

"Oh no my pet, I am more powerful than that."

Kie felt the water turn cold. What did he mean? Regarless of his meaning, the thought of partnering with Palto in any way, made Kie sick to her stomach. She tried to keep herself from shivering in the suddenly cold water, but she tembled anyway.

"Ahh, so you do like power."

"With all do respect, Commander, power does not impress me."

"It should. You should seriously consider a partnership with me," he whispered in her ear.

Kie could feel bile rising in the back of her throat. "What would I gain from that?"

"Power of your own. A powerful partner. What better arrangement is there?" Palto chuckled.

"Again, power does not impress me. I have no need or want of it."

"Mmm, why don't you think about? We'll talk again after the mission. The events that happen might cause you to change your mind."

"What events?"

"You'll see. Just pay close attention to what is going on around you. The mission will help you to decide. Trust me, darling." Palto kissed her neck before Kie could react. He left the room as mysteriously as he arrived.

Kie looked around to make sure he was gone. The began to scrub her skin, disgusted by what had happened. She continued scrubbing even after her skin turned red.


So, there it is. Just to give you some insite - the Last Line blog fest scene is towards the end of the story and this one here is in the beginning - so there are plenty of other evil happenings inbetween! Mwahaha!

9 Responses to "Primal Scream Blogfest: Commanding Disgust"

Iapetus999 Says :
May 5, 2010 at 1:09 AM

Definitely a potentially dangerous situation. Doesn't anyone lock the door? Now I need to know what happens on the mission, and if there's any follow-up.
Nice job!

Charity Bradford Says :
May 5, 2010 at 10:07 AM

Ooo, nice tension. Definitely danger of the creepiest kind. I liked how Kie remained as calm as she did. Sounds like she is pretty tough herself.

Eric W. Trant Says :
May 5, 2010 at 10:52 AM

This would be great for a Primal You-Got-Dumped blogfest.

Creepy guys too caught up in themselves. I'm sure you have no experience there, eh.

- Eric

KM Says :
May 5, 2010 at 10:58 AM

Eww. Total creeper! Anybody who sneaks up on you while you're taking a bath is definitely is going to put up some suspicion. Good stuff here. I felt her disgust (along with a little of mine lol).

Raquel Byrnes Says :
May 5, 2010 at 11:54 AM

Argh! He makes me so mad! That beautiful, relaxing, oasis ruined by smarmy propositioning and snatched kisses. Bleh!

I love the descriptions, the scents, the lilies tickling her skin...great job!

Thank you so much for participating, I enjoyed your entry so much!

Catherine A. Winn Says :
May 5, 2010 at 2:43 PM

This definitely was so well written, I wanted to scrub myself clean!

sarahjayne smythe Says :
May 5, 2010 at 7:41 PM

Definitely do not like him. :) Great entry for the blogfest.

VR Barkowski Says :
May 5, 2010 at 10:15 PM

Definitely creepy. The guy gave me a chill down my spine. I liked the way Kie remained unruffled during the encounter. I don't think I'd be so imperturbable.

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