Last Line Blogfest: Good, Bad, and Worst

Author: Anastasia V. Pergakis // Category: ,


Hi, my name is Harley and I'm a blogfestaholic - oh wait, that's something else.

Yay for another blogfest, hosted by the lovely Lilah Pierce! I have been waiting for this one for a long time - so excited.

So it's not the end of the novel, but it is the end of a chapter, with a great cliffhanger. It's from my novel "The Kinir Elite Chronicles" Book 1" (Seriously need an actual title for it).

What you say? Not from "The Faery's Tale"? I know! I figured I use that novel so often for blogfests that I would go with a different one this time around! It's the rough draft, so be gentle with your comments! I know it needs work to really make some strong emotions, but it works for now!

So here we go - and make sure you read the other entries! I bet they are going to be awesome!


"Why are you seeking revenge? Did you wife leave you for some elf?" he asked, trying to keep the wizard distracted.

Takurix stilled, every muscles in his body was tense. In a flash, he whirled around and put a knife to Derac's throat.

"You have no right to talk about my wife you elf!" he screamed. "No right!"

Derac leaned his head back trying to avoid the sharp blade that rested on his neck.

"It's your fault she's gone! You killed her! You raped her, took her soul, but that wasn't enough! You took every thing!" the wizard screamed, his voice high pitched and cracking. "Do you know what it's like to watch the woman you love more than any thing in the world die right before your eyes?"

Derac lowered his head to look Takurix directly in the eye. He no longer cared about the knife at his throat.

"I watched as she burned to death. Her flesh fell of her bones and she fell into the cold snow, charred and lifeless. I know exactly what it's like," he said through clenched teeth.

He felt the pressure of the knife come off his neck, but only a little.

"How did you deal with not having a chance to seek revenge from a fire?"

Derac lowered his eyes. He was certain he was going to die, so why lie? The story was going to come out eventually. Maybe it would sway the desperate wizard to spare his life. Derac doubted it.

"I did. Humans set fire to our headquarters building where she and I lived. I chased the ones responsible for three weeks. When I found them, I tied them up in their cabin. I poured water over them and in a circle around them and set the cabin on fire."

"I bet you enjoyed the sight,"

Derac slowly shook his head, still well aware of the knife at his throat.

"No. After it was done, she was still dead. It did not matter what I did, she was not coming back. All it did was make me full of guilt for even though they stole her from me, I was no better as I took them from their wives and mothers just as quickly," Derac said sadly.

Takurix stepped away from his with wide eyes. Derac hung his head, a tear escaping his eyes. Takurix backed up until his back hit the edge of the table. The knife was still in his hand and Derac waited for the wizard to throw it at his chest. He thought of Kie then. He loved her, he finally admitted to himself. He regretted not telling her before. Now, he would never have the chance.

Takurix threw the knife down and collapsed to the floor. He was on his hands and knees, gasping for breath. His body shook uncontrollably. Derac had been there. The total realization that she was not coming back hit harder than watching her die. He did not say anything and let the wizard have his moment in peace.

"How...how do you deal with the pain?"

"I didn't. I hurt every day for ten years. I had been a member of the Elite for five years then. Young and in love," Derac sighed. Memories flashed through his mind as he remembered those times. He sighed again. "But when you're ready to move on and let her rest in peace, the pain goes away a little bit. Nothing will ever replace her, but there is time and room for new love," he said softly.

Takurix looked up at Derac and stared at him intently. He stood back on his feet but kept looking at Derac. Derac watched the wizard's facial expressions change from anger, to confusion, to realization. Finally, Takurix shook his head and stepped up to Derac. On reflex, Derac's muscles tensed up but he relaxed when he realized the wizard was unlatching the restraints. Once they were undone, Derac stepped onto the floor and look at him.

"Go to her," Takurix said softly. "I could tell you loved her when I showed her to you." He waved his hand in a circular motion again towards the mirror. "Just step through," he said softly.

The image that appeared in the glass made Derac fill with a murderous rage.

Palto was leaning over Kie's body. Derac watched in horror as he kissed her neck and tore open her shirt. She did not fight back.

13 Responses to "Last Line Blogfest: Good, Bad, and Worst"

Christine Danek Says :
May 1, 2010 at 7:22 AM

Great job. Gripping last lines.

Susan Fields Says :
May 1, 2010 at 8:21 AM

Very emotional scene, and that last line definitely keeps the reader wanting to know more. Good job!

Charity Bradford Says :
May 1, 2010 at 10:14 AM

Oh, so intense. I remember reading the scene with the fire.

So sad that he realizes he loves her, but now sees her with someone else. Perhaps there is yet more we don't know?

Very nice scene.

Kristie Cook Says :
May 1, 2010 at 12:38 PM

I had chills reading this. You've already done well with the emotions. Taken out of context, though, I was a little confused. Did they love the same woman? If so, how heart-wrenching. I hope we get to read the whole thing...soon. :)

Catherine A. Winn Says :
May 1, 2010 at 12:58 PM

Gripping scene full of emotion. I like the break we got when Derac was released, that moment of calm was well placed before suddenly being thrown back into action again.

Harley D. Palmer Says :
May 1, 2010 at 1:27 PM

Kristie - No they aren't in love with the same woman. There are three women revolving in this scene here - Derac's dead wife, Takurix's dead wife, and Derac's new love, Kie.

Charity - Oh yes, so much more that you don't know. Mwahahah!

Iapetus999 Says :
May 1, 2010 at 4:51 PM

Oops. I hate those mirror thingies.
Some things should just stay in Vegas.
Nice job!

Dawn Embers Says :
May 1, 2010 at 7:05 PM

*stares* aww.. I so commented on this like last night. Even called you "verbose one" but it's not here. How sad.

Good last line, by the way.

Lilah Pierce Says :
May 1, 2010 at 9:38 PM

Hello, I write under the name Lilah Pierce, and I am a Blogfest-aholic...Oh, not the right thing?

That was great! I want more! Thank SO much for participating!

(See you, uh, READ you at the next 'fest!)

Raquel Byrnes Says :
May 1, 2010 at 9:56 PM

I really wish I'd read all that was leading up to this. It was very emotional especially the end and I wondered about the characters. Great post.

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. Says :
May 3, 2010 at 1:28 PM

What a horrible thing for him to see after all that. Poor guy. Very well drawn.

Haley Jo Says :
May 3, 2010 at 8:35 PM

Great post! I wish I could see more.

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