Flirt Fest Blog Fest: A Mother and A Captain

Author: Anastasia V. Pergakis // Category: ,


The Flirt Fest Blogfest! Woot! I'll keep this intro short because of course, my entry here is a little long. The characters aren't doing the flirting as much as her Mother is - but it's really the best scene I have for this fest. These two characters flirt by trying to avoid each other so to speak, so I thought I would at least put something amusing. It is one of my favorites scenes only because I got to see Kie, a tough, female, warrior, in a softer light for a few moments.

From "The Kinir Elite Chronicles: Book 1" (Rough Draft)

The small cottage looking home stood off by itself at the end of the street. There were flowers growing in the garden and a white picket fence circled the well manicured lawn. Derac hid in the shadow of a tree in a yard a few houses down.

Kie stood at the gate, staring at the cottage. She turned around suddenly and her eyes zeroed in on him.

"Centurio, I know you're there," she called.

Derac stepped out of the shadows. "How could you possibly know?"

She smirked but turned back to looking at the cottage. Derac came up to stand by her side. "What is this place?"

"My home," she said with a small smile. "Well I suppose since you followed me here, would you like to come in?" She did not wait for his answer. Derac followed her through the gate and up the stone steps to the porch.

Kie knocked three times on the door before stepping inside.

"Matris! Patris!" Kie called. An elf came out of the one of the side doors. A smile erupted on her face when her eyes landed on Kie.

"Kierianna!" the elf said wrapping her arms tightly around Kie.

Derac smirked. He did not know Kie had a full name. He always figured Kie was her name and that was all there was to it. It made him want to laugh to know that she actually had a full, soft, female sounding name.

"Matris, it is so wonderful to see you."

"I am so glad you're home, safe and sound."

The two elves stepped out of the embrace and Kie turned to Derac. "Matris, this is Captain Derac Vidor of the Kinir Elite," she said formally. "Captain, this is my mother, Nynn Shaphros.

Derac bowed slightly. Nynn laughed and shook her hand at him. "Oh please, don't bow to me. I'm not that important. Please come in, have a seat."

She led the way into the living room and Derac made himself comfortable on one of the plush sofas.

"Thank you, madam," Derac said sitting down.

Kie's mother laughed. "Oh please, call me Nynn. Ah, and this is my husband, Wervt," she said welcoming a tall, broad elf into the room.

A smile lit up his wrinkled face. Derac had to hold back a chuckled as he watched Kie run into the old elf's arms for a tight embrace.

"My daughter. I am so glad to see you safe."

"Of course I am safe, Patris," she said with a smile. "Let me introduce, Captain Derac Vidor of the Kinir Elite."

Derac stood and the two elves shook hands.

"Wonderful, to meet you," Wervt said.

Wervt sat down next to the fireplace and lit a pipe. He offered one to Derac, but he politely declined the offer.

"So, Kierianna, tell us what has been happening to you in the past year since you have last been home," Nynn asked.

"Missions, Matris. I am not at liberty to really talk about them in detail. But I can tell you that we are doing great things for Kinir," she said with a smile.

"Of course you are darling. I am so glad to see you in proper clothes," Nynn said with a small laugh.

Kie chuckled and shook her head. Derac smirked.

Nynn heaved a sigh, "You know how I hate to see you in male's clothing."

"Normally I am in uniform. Tonight I though I would humor you." Kie said with a smile.

Derac watched Kie talk with her family with interest. He had rarely seen her genuinely smile in the last year that he had know her. Now, her whole face was lit up, even her eyes sparkled.

"Captain, would like some supper? It is just about ready."

Derac looked to Kie for permission before accepting such an offer. "Yes, Matris. Supper sounds wonderful. I'll help you." Kie and her mother went into the kitchen, leaving Derac with Kie's father.

"Captain Vidor. I have heard great things about you," Wervt said.


"Yes. Kierianna mentions you often in her letters to us." Derac was shocked. His memory had no recollection of Kie ever writing letters.

"She does? Hm." He did not know what to say. It was odd to be in Kie's family home surrounded by her loving parents. Kie was a warrior and he had never known her as anything else. This side of her was new and Derac was not sure how to act in the situation. It had been a long time for him since he had been in a comfortable home. For fifteen years it had always been the Elite headquarters for him. Home seemed like a foreign thing to him now.

Kie's house was full of comfort, love, and warmth. The sofas were well worn but clean and the rugs showed years of use. A book lay open on a chair and knitting lay discarded in a basket on the floor. The scents of the cooking supper wafted through the house, adding to the homey feel of the place.

Nynn came back into the room and announced dinner was ready. Derac followed her into the dinning room. The table was small, only able to seat six people. Again something homey about the house. The dining room was set up to be close, the family all sitting around talking about their day. It was a very personal setting and Derac felt out of place. This was Kie's place, her safe haven and he felt wrong for following her there. It was like he was invading her space.

Wervt said thanks to the gods and then began to pass around the plates full of steaming food.

"This looks wonderful. It has been a long time since I had a home cooked meal." Derac smiled.

"You poor thing! You will just have to visit more often," Nynn said with a look to Kie.

"Yes, Matris. I know I should visit more often. But the missions keep me busy."

Nynn sighed, "Yes I know. You want to save the world." She reached out and squeezed Kie's hand. Kie smiled at the elf and gripped her hand in return.

"How did you decide to become Elite, Captain?" Wervt asked.

"It was something I had always wanted to do. I was accepted into the training, passed with honors..." Derac shrugged.

"You love the thrill of the hunt?" Wervt said with a smile.

Derac smiled in return, "Yes. But really it is the thrill of success. The beings that I save, that is what makes all the sacrifice worth it. Keeps me going." He nodded in affirmation.

Supper progressed with pleasant small talk. Kie and her mother never let go of each others' hand. It was a sweet gesture that made Derac smile. The hard exterior that was Kie had faded. She was relaxed, carefree, and joyous. It was a beautiful sight. Derac found himself smiling easily as well, the atmosphere of the place making him feel relaxed and safe.

After supper they made their way back to the living room. Nynn served wine and they sat in comfortable silence for a few moments.

"So, Kie when are you going to get married?" Nynn asked suddenly.

Kie choked on her wine. "Matris!" She sent an apologetic smile to Derac.

"What? It's hard not to think of such things when you being home such a nice and handsome elf."

This time Derac choked. Kie sent another apologetic smile to him. "Matris, please. Captain Vidor is just that, my Captain. Besides, it would be wrong of us to be together," Kie said exasperated.

"Oh tosh," Nynn said with a wave of her hand. "Love is love, there are no rules."

Kie gave her mother a glare. She giggled into her wine but dropped the subject. Derac was slightly amused by the whole thing.

9 Responses to "Flirt Fest Blog Fest: A Mother and A Captain"

Tessa Conte Says :
May 16, 2010 at 9:02 AM

Hehe good one. This is a very familiar scene...bring one friend/collegue home and mom immediately wants to set the wedding date... ; )

You caught that reproachful-but-loving-mother-speak perfectly!

Love it!

One small comment though: I got a little confused as to who's speaking on occasion because 'matris' addresses a comment at the captain and then Kie answers...example:
"Derac looked to Kie for permission before accepting such an offer. "Yes, Matris. Supper sounds wonderful. I'll help you."
But maybe that's just me, sorry.

M. Bail Says :
May 16, 2010 at 9:19 AM

Good job! Thanks for participating in the blogfest!

Amalia T. Says :
May 16, 2010 at 11:17 AM

ahahaha. Leave it to her mother to bring up marriage at a time like that! Poor Kie, I can just imagine the awkward.

Zoe C. Courtman Says :
May 16, 2010 at 12:53 PM

Found your blog through the Flirt Fest blogfest - nice job! Love that the mother gets in on it :D

Raquel Byrnes Says :
May 16, 2010 at 2:35 PM

Oh my awkward family can make us. This was a warm and interesting scene. Great job...I like the couple already.

Charity Bradford Says :
May 16, 2010 at 2:47 PM

I'm not going to nit pick since you said it is a rough draft. There were a lot of names, and then confusing dialogue, but that is all easily fixed.

I see lots of potential here. I enjoyed watching Derac watch Kie. I could feel a "waking up" in a way. He is seeing her in a new light that can easily lead to new things. And the mom! My mom was like that by the time I was 16! Great job!

Bryan Sabol Says :
May 16, 2010 at 8:05 PM

This was an excellent draft. The one thing that threw me was trying to get into Vidor's head, as he seems to jump from enjoying and appreciating the home, to being uncomfortable and feeling like he's invading Kie's space, and then in another paragraph back to enjoying it.

Still, that's just minor tweaking of the descriptions, but I'd suggest making sure you pace his feelings in a more straight path (initially uncomfortable as it's so out of place, to being grateful for the meal invite, to finally really relaxing -- and then choking on the marriage comment at the end.

Very engaging!

Tina Lynn Says :
May 17, 2010 at 8:11 AM

Nice going, Mom! This is the point when you wish you're sitting at a table so you can kick her underneath it. You know, discreetlike:) Love the entry. Captain is about to fall for someone he can't have, methinks.

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. Says :
May 17, 2010 at 9:43 PM

I liked the dialogue between Kie and her mother - and of course, the marriage question - such a familiar family moment. really cute :)

(and I know it's a rough draft, but I'll throw this out there anyway - seemed odd to say the word "elf" so many times. If this is in the middle of the book, the reader would know they are elves. E.g. Kie smiled at the elf and gripped her hand in return.)

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