And the Pitch! Strike 100!

Author: Anastasia V. Pergakis // Category: ,

THIS IS MY 100TH POST! **throws confetti** Thus the 100th strike there in the title. But it does still go with the topic of this 100th post! *sigh* 100 posts and almost 100 followers! YAY! I feel so famous! Okay enough of that...

All this month I have been attending a workshop about writing a 2-page synopsis for a novel. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do! Take my 90K word novel and smush it into 2-pages - are you serious!?

Oh yea, and I fought tooth and nail about it too! Poor Frankie! (Frankie, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I do appreciate everything and I am satisfied with the result even if I hated the process!)

Then yesterday we had the wonderful Logline Blogfest by Bryan. What? I just squeezed my 90K manuscript into 2 pages and now you only want one line!? *screams* I tried my best and thanks to wonderful comments I am trying this again!

I am also including the 30-second pitch here that I learned about through Bryan. When he explained about Loglines and Hooklines for the Blogfest, he linked to an article about writing the One-Sentence Pitch. That one led me to another article for the 'Elevator Pitch' which is about 30-seconds long! So after reading - and re-reading- these articles, I figured I'd give it a shot. I'll need these someday anyway right?

You can read the 5 hooklines I came up for the blogfest here - and there is one more in the comments as well. But here are a few more that I thought up after reading everyone's great suggestions!

1. An ancient prophecy that promises to unite the kingdom once again, throws Rosyani into an epic adventure to save her parents, her husband, and her own life. (This one I put in the comments but I wanted to post it again - because frankly, it's the best one I had yesterday so...)

2. An ancient prophecy promises to unite the five faery kingdoms of Diesquia once again throwing Rosyani into an adventure around the world to save her parents, her husband, and her entire world.

3. Traveling across the world to save her family and her world based on the promises of a forgotten prophecy, Rosyani learns the true meaning of unconditional love.

4. Rosyani must gain control of her powers in order to save her parents, her husband, and herself as she journeys to the human lands to fulfill a prophecy that will unite the faery lands once again.

What do you think? I think they are much better then yesterdays at the very least. I do like #2 the best but I think #4 is good too.

So, on to the 30-second pitch. This one was REALLY hard to do but please be honest! I typed it up and read it outloud (with a stop watch) to make sure it was 30-seconds!

1. (This one is a shortened version of the back cover blurb I wrote for the novel. So I cheated a bit, but I did write a new one too.) Princess Rosyani Celter ached to belong. Little did she know, she'd find that in the Prince of an enemy kingdom. As soon as she finds happiness however, she is thrown into an epic journey to rescue her emotionally detached mother and distant in-laws.

With her new husband by her side, and four other companions, they trudge forward to fulfill a prophecy promising to unite the faery kingdom of Diesquia once again. The obstacles ahead seem insurmountable. Rosyani fears it will destroy them all. In truth, they hate each other based on old laws and myths and that alone is cause for absolute failture. (29 seconds)

2. The humans kidnapped the faery Kings and Queens from five small kingdoms that once fought under one banner. Princess Rosyani Kestar travels with her husband and four other companions to fulfill an ancient prophecy that promises to unite their kingdoms once again.

The obstacles ahead seem insurmountable. Hatred reigns surpreme because of old laws and myths. Their new allegiance is fragile and it seems they will destroy each other before the prophecy comes to pass. All hope is lost for the faery world if they cannot learn to trust each other. (28 seconds)

I think the second one is best as it focuses more on the plot than Rosyani's character. What do you guys think?

7 Responses to "And the Pitch! Strike 100!"

Anthony J Langford Says :
May 23, 2010 at 5:45 AM

For the hookline i dont like No, 3. And i think that, 'her husband, her parents and herself' is too much of a mouthful.. i think family is better..

Congrats on 100!!! Awesome!


Tessa Conte Says :
May 23, 2010 at 10:26 AM

I like nr 4 best!

And...*throws more confetti* congratulations on the 100th post!

Roland D. Yeomans Says :
May 23, 2010 at 12:00 PM

Like Tessa, I like #4 the best. It sure is hard coming up with one sentence.

But in a way coming up with a two page synopsis is harder. And when it gets trimmed into one page, your head begins to throb from the effort.

But it helps to see the synopsis from the agent's perspective : she wants to see just the gist of your adventure, while getting a feel for your writing voice. All to see if you are her cup of tea, so to speak.

Thanks for dropping my blog today. It means a lot, Roland

Oh, and I wrote a post that might help you in writing any more summations of your novel. THE MYSTERIOUS NAZCA LINES FOR WRITERS :

Dawn Embers Says :
May 23, 2010 at 2:31 PM


*throws chocolate instead of confetti*

Woo Hoo!!!

Interesting pitches. How fast do you speak? Just curious. Years as a debater has made me more aware of speed while speaking.

I wrote a novel synopsis once, for novel writing class and it's awful. I still have it on WDC I think.

Like novels they take time and a few drafts to get them right. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous Says :
May 23, 2010 at 6:08 PM

I like #4, too.

I need to take a workshop on synopsis writing. Through SCBWI, I hope to eventually take a class on this and other aspects of writing.

sarahjayne smythe Says :
May 23, 2010 at 9:03 PM

Congrats on the followers and the posts. And I like number 4, too. :)

By W. J. Howard Says :
May 24, 2010 at 10:10 PM

So funny! We have a pitch project going on over at We've been working on the one sentence pitch, which is a bitch!!

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