Bar Scene Blogfest: Royal Fight

Author: Anastasia V. Pergakis // Category: ,


Yay! Yet another blogfest! I just love these things! This one is thanks to Tara, over at Secret Story! Make sure you check out the other entries too!

Okay, to set you up a little bit, many of you remember the beginning part of this in an earlier post I made about listening to your characters and compared two scenes. This is what happens after that! (And since I'm awesome, if you want to read the beginning part of this, you can find it here. It's the second half of the post, in purple font.)

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He caught sight of Letarri coming back into the tavern. She looked a little more steady on her feet but not much. She wobbled through the crowd but was stopped by a tall faery. Etharas nudged Cadmus to get his attention. The faery was talking to her and she responded back. Seemed innocent enough, but Etharas kept an eye on them just to be sure. He did not know the type of faeries that came to this tavern.

Letarri leaned against a chair for support. Her eyes were half closed, almost in a seductive way. Etharas’s senses were on full alert. He doubted any other male would see that look for what is was - a first time drinker feeling the effects of three shots of Caderis. They would see her teetering as a sign that she was trying to get closer to them, not keep her balance.

“Think we should go get her?” Cadmus asked.

“No. Not until he tries something. I don’t want to cause a ruckus if there is no reason.”

He probed Letarri’s mind for her thoughts. Even in her brain she sounded slurred and drunk.

Why is he talking to me? I don’t know him. Where is Etharas? What did he just say? Wants me to go upstairs?

Etharas stiffened but stayed in his seat. He saw her mouth from the words “No thank you.” The faery apparently did not want to take no as an answer and continued to push the issue.

Is he stupid? I just said no. I wish I could move. Why aren’t my feet working?”

Etharas decided enough was enough. She was too drunk to control the situation. He slid off the barstool and made his way over to them. He slid his arm around her waist and smiled down at her.

“Hello, love! I have been looking for you everywhere.”

“What?” she mumbled. “Love? Gods his arms are strong.” She leaned into him and his grip on her waist tightened. She giggled seductively into his ear.

“I should get her to bed,” he said to the faery with a laugh. He started to half carry, half drag Letarri away.

The faery tapped him on the shoulder. When Etharas turned back around, his face met with the faery’s fist. He and Letarri fell back into one of the tables.

Etharas stood back up and spit the blood from his mouth. “I don’t want any trouble. Just want to get my lady up to bed.”

His lady? Is he talking about me? Oh if only.” Letarri giggled.

Momentarily caught off guard by Letarri’s thoughts, he took another punch to the face. Cadmus came over and gathered Letarri from the floor where she sat.

Once Letarri was out of the way, Etharas swung back. The faery crashed into the table behind him. The patrons gathered around them, chanting for more blood. Etharas knew that bets were being made about who would win the fight.

The faery stood back up. Blood trickled from a cut on his forehead and he was already showing signs of a black eye. Etharas probed the mind of the faery and easily dodged the next swing.

The fight went on like that for a few moments, the faery swinging and Etharas ducking. Etharas dodged another and when he stood back to his full height, he swung his left fist into the jaw of the faery. Etharas counted on the fact the faery was much drunker than he was.

Etharas was surprised when the faery stood back up though. This time Etharas hit him with a right hook and the faery stayed down.

A second faery stepped forward to defend his friend. Etharas rolled his eyes and groaned. He hated this part of any fight. He stopped paying attention to what punch was thrown and merely concentrated on not getting hit. He spread out his power into the minds of all of the patrons to make sure no one snuck up on him.

Cadmus apparently had gotten into the fight after he made sure Letarri was safely curled up on the stairs.

Etharas was so lost in the sea of punches and kicks that he failed to notice the fire that had started before it was almost too late. As if in slow motion, he watched the fire eat its way across the bar to all the liquor bottles.

“Every one get out of here!” he yelled.

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Tada! Etharas is definitely one of my favorite characters. He's just so much fun to write! His telepathy makes for some really fun scenes (especially around Letarri!)

*sigh* I love writing!

11 Responses to "Bar Scene Blogfest: Royal Fight"

Dawn Embers Says :
April 11, 2010 at 4:06 AM

Great post and works very well for the bar scene blogfest. Interesting how you use italics and dialogue quotes to determine talking and hearing through the telepathy. I got a tiny bit confused but the context of the lines made it easier to figure out what was spoken out loud versus in the mind.

I'm liking your characters too. Very fun and Ethras seems to be a good one to write.

Anthony J Langford Says :
April 11, 2010 at 8:31 AM

Yeah I like it Harley - in a way it reminds me of Sookies inner voice from True Blood... but still fun stuff...

=]

Amalia T. Says :
April 11, 2010 at 9:53 AM

Yes! A good brawl! I like how you blur the fight scene itself, instead of giving us blow-by-blows through the whole thing. I think it really helps keep the momentum up.

Harley D. Palmer Says :
April 11, 2010 at 11:42 AM

Dawn - Yea, he is definately one of my favorites to write about.

Anthony - I've never seen True Blood so I don't know. I'm glad you liked it!

Amalia - Thanks! I try to give enough detail in fight scenes that the reader can get into the vision of the scene but not give a blow by blow account as to me that is sometimes boring.

Iapetus999 Says :
April 11, 2010 at 12:43 PM

The Fightin' Fae.
I have trouble picturing this. ;)
A bar fight isn't a bar fight unless the bar is burned to the ground. Nice job!

Harley D. Palmer Says :
April 11, 2010 at 1:51 PM

That is very true Andrew!

sarahjayne smythe Says :
April 11, 2010 at 3:08 PM

Great blogfest entry. Fae fighting in a bar. Who'd a thunk it? Great setting and description. And I really loved this line:

As if in slow motion, he watched the fire eat its way across the bar to all the liquor bottles.

Harley D. Palmer Says :
April 11, 2010 at 6:29 PM

Thanks Sarah! I want to beef up that line a little bit - make it better but we'll see. Need to finish the rest of the rewrite first then hopefully get some critique folks to look at it.

F Says :
April 12, 2010 at 10:57 AM

Good bar scene... The fire caught me off guard, though. I loved the play on Etharas' telepathy and Lettar's thoughts; really funny! It's my first time here so... um... what's a faery? ***hides face in shame***

Harley D. Palmer Says :
April 12, 2010 at 11:18 AM

"faery" is just a different way to spell "fairy". They are the same, I simply prefer to spell it with an e instead of an i. That's all. Sorry for the confusion F!

Lilah Pierce Says :
April 12, 2010 at 4:29 PM

Ya know, I finished that and just had the best visual. A fairy (or faery in this case :) ) getting into a bar fight. I love it!

Hope your jaw is okay, by the way :)

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